Have you ever had the experience with a spouse, partner, child, or loved one of hearing their request, and doing or getting them “exactly” what they ask for only to find out that you were wrong? Completely wrong! How did that feel? Ever have it happen at work, with a client, customer or employee? Has that mistake ever cost you money, trust or profit?
How much do these “mistakes” cost you both emotionally and financially? And, what if you could avoid them and give others more exactly what they wanted? Imagine the change, the rewards, and the results.
While language is too ambiguous for us ever to be right all the time about what others want and need, there are ways to really discover what our friends, loved ones, team members, clients, customers,and others really want and then to give it to them. In fact, it is often easier and less expensive to give them exactly what they really want rather than what we think they need or mistakenly believe that they asked for.
And, part of the problem is that many times when someone asks us for something, they haven’t really clarified it themselves. We aren’t responsible for that re we? Can we do anything about that? Well, as Eben Pagan said in LA this weekend “be responsible for them being responsible.” There are rich rewards for this little bit of extra effort.
But, I like to go beyond just saying what to do. I try to commit to getting you solid information about how to do it.
So, in this video (and here) I will explore the benefits of asking others what they really want and how to help them find it when they don’t yet know. That’s right, remember, you have to watch and listen to make sure that they understand what they want themselves. If they lack clarity, enthusiasm, and certainty, they may not really know or may no be describing the true need or desire.
We also have to combine this skill with the knowledge that too often people assume that the words they use mean the same thing to another human…and they don’t. Don’t believe me? Well, if I say the word “dog” what pops into your mind? Is it a picture of a dog. Is that the same picture in my mind? Might that make a difference.
And when someone says to you that he or she wants to be “happier” doesn’t that mean the same thing as when you want to be happier? I dedicated an entire chapter to just this issue in my book and I’m working on another chapter in my new business book and program on the issue – Persuasion2Power (TM). I’ll also be presenting on these powerful, ethical, and effective techniques at the Glazer Kennedy SuperConference in Chicago.
In short it seems complex, but there are a few secrets that make it much easier.
So realize, that we don’t always know what we want. And, we don’t always say it even when we do know what we want. Furthermore, even when we do know and we say it, we may be using words that the other party thinks about in different terms. And, to make matters worse, even if we are completely clear on all of these prior steps, there are distractions and “noise” in the environment (such as email, literal noise, others speaking, television, radio, a burning need to get to a rest room, you name it) that can distract us from hearing and correctly processing those words.
Whew! This communications and persuasion business is crazy rough. You might have to listen very carefully and ask more questions. Hardly seems worth it.
But what are the rewards when you get the customers’ needs right on the nose?
What happens when you really hear a spouse and give her exactly what she wants?
How does your child feel when you get it right?
How much more valuable do you become when people in all aspects of your life life know that they can trust you? And do more people refer to you when you get what they want and others don’t?
Are there some serious karmic rewards for that? How would you feel? Could you profits be higher? Life better?
More love and affection? Well, let’s not go there….
Think about this, watch the video and be sure to leave your comments and questions below.
Photo Credit: RatRanch