David M. Frees
Ideas and Information to Improve Your Life

Dave Frees On Persuasion and Communications Skills for Business and PersonalSuccess

Why is it that in the past, you have set goals, you’ve make a plan, you have taken action and yet, when the new year rolls around you found yourself woefully short of the desired result?

I mean all of the experts tell you to write down your goals. And then they remind you to develop a plan. Finally, we have always been told that action is the real distinction. And in fact, it’s true. Thoise that take action seem to “have all the luck.”

So why, if you have followed the formula, have you not gotten all of the desired results?

The simple answer is that we often tell ourselves a story that we don’t yet believe. And, even more miraculously, we set goals which, if we achieved them, would have negative consequences that we havn’t really accepted. “Fake it ’til you make it” is hard for the mind. We know that we are faking and we fear failure.

So, in an attempt to protect us, from ourselves, the mind creates friction and barriers to those truly positive changes that, at the conscious level, we desire.

But, here is the good news. There is a proven way, to make this self protective inner game less of a barrier and in fact, to engage the full force of the mind in helping you to make the progress you desire.

How do you access that power?

How do you instantly align the forces of your conscious and subconscious awareness to make the friction disappear and the desired result appear?

You can start right now with the right questions. And, tey work like magic for reasons we’ll discuss later. In fact, just reading them - quickly and without stopping to answer them - is the best. Remeber. Just read them. Just allow the mind to work on them effortlessly. Just keep going.

For example:
What would you like to dramatically change in your business or personal life right now?

If you could have that change, instantly by tomorrow morning, how would your life be different?

In what ways would your life be dramatically better?
How would your day start?
What would you see around you?
What would you do during the day?

How would these activities be different from your current day?

Are there any changes that would not be desirable?
How would this change affect your friends, family, loved ones, business partners, or others?
Would those changes to them matter to you?
Why?
Could you live with those changes?
How could you have your change and enjoy it even more?
Would that be worth the downside?

So if you’re following directions, your head is probably spinning. You might just want to stop and write down your answers. Don’t. Just let the mind work. Soon, you’ll find that you’re telling yourself a story that you do believe is possible. You’ll be enjoying changes that will be aligned with what you want for yourself and for others and change will be more effortless.

Enjoy!

More on the how this works later.

Dave Frees
610-933-8069
dfrees@successtechnologies.com

For Key Note Speeches, Meeting Entertainment and Persuasion and Sales Skills that work call Dave Frees and ask for Donna or Denise at 610-933-8069 or 1-800-769-5454.

Are You Interested In Keeping Electronic Notebooks of Your Ideas and Staying Organized Across Your Phone and Computers?

I just finished this great WSJ article by Walter Mossberg on a very cool new service that allows you to keep virtual note books, organize photos, notes, web clippings and more across multiple computers and your smart phone.

This service - called EVERNOTE, is described as a virtual filing cabinet filled with virtual notebooks. And, while I haven’t tried it yet - I will after I post this - the description was so cool that I wanted you to test it our along with me.

Mossberg - reporting for the Wall Street Journal - has been a stern critic of technology junk and has given me some really good pointers accurate information on software and electronics over the years. If it’s hard to use, he’ll tell you. And he is enthusiastically endorsing EVERNOTE which is a free service.
  You can click here to read a brief article on this creativity and organizational tool or see his video blog on Evernote Take note, the video is over five minutes.

If you’re a man or woman of action, here is the EVERNOTE download site for all platforms and device types.

Dave Frees
1-800-769-5454
or 610-933-8069

Conversational Persuasion and Beliefs By: Dave Frees
Do you want to become more powerful, highly effective, and persuasive in your conversations, your writing, and if you’re in business, in your marketing?

Then you need to understand and respect the power and durability of beliefs.

Human beliefs are very powerful, very helpful, and very resilient. Many of us try, even before building trust with another person, to convince them that their beliefs are either wrong, misinformed, or inaccurate.

Yet, as human beings, we rely on our beliefs to simplify our world and our decision making. As we repeatedly rely on these beliefs, we come to rely upon them more and more and to value the accuracy of our own beliefs.

While this goes on at largely unconscious level, we even start to sort information that supports our belief and to ignore information that is inconsistent with our belief.

So, to become more influential and persuasive, you need to:

* acknowledge the other persons’ beliefs
* build trust, and
* discover their beliefs and understand them.

Then, you have to meet that person in their reality and gently bridge from their limiting belief to a broader understanding. Then, and only then, can you begin the process of inspiring your subject to learn, to understand you and what you have to offer them, and to change or evolve their belief structure.

Even if you are successful, in the short run in “changing a belief,” through surprise, or intimidation, or personal power, you’re likely to fail in the long run.

Belief’s don’t change easily and you’ll often find that when you are no longer right there to coach, to intimidate, and or to “persuade” the other person, that they will simply resort to the old belief.

So real persuasion means learning the others’ world views, what they dream about as well as their fears and frustrations.

You need to meet them in their reality, and bridge to a new way of thinking. Not to convince them, but to give them everything that they need to convince themselves. Get too far ahead of their beliefs and you seem like a kook or lose their trust.

Instead, build a bridge to a new reality and let them take that bridge as a way to something that they desire and the new way of thinking is likely to stick.

Thanks for reading. Please leave a comment, a question or suggestion below and you’ll be automatically entered to win a 2010 Resolution or goal mug where you can write long term or short term goals for the year, day or week right on the side of the morning Java.

Be well.

Dave Frees

Dave Frees On Persuasion and Communications Skills for Business and PersonalSuccess

Welcome to 2010 and have a very Happy New Year. And, thank you for being a loyal reader of Dave Frees’ Communications, Persuasion, and Marketing Blog. I hope that you continue to enjoy the Ideas and Information To Improve Your Business and Your Life (TM)

But having a great new year is much more a function of your own choices than you may think. Perception does have the power to create reality.

Here are just a few things to do. Some are easy and some harder, but all of them have the proven potential to incrementally and to radically improve your life.

It’s up to you. Make a choice and act.

Happiness and luck favor the prepared and open mind as well as a body in motion.
1) Commit to stopping the voice in your head that says “I already know (or do) that.” This voice robs you of new viewpoints, information, and ideas that can really make a difference. And besides that, you probably don’t already know it and even if you do, you’re probably not doing it consistently.

2) Take action right away even if only to set deadlines to do things. Action yields results and is the single most important factor in separating success from failure. ACT NOW. Really, stop reading for a minute and actually set a deadline or get out your calendar or write down one of these as a goal or a sub goal. And, resolve to be more fun, interesting and edgy. If you build enough trust you can be more outrageous, memorable, and interesting.

Happiness is a decision but can be affected by small things. According to the experts:
3) Get enough sleep, exercise (which makes sleep better) and make your bed. Apparently, this little thing shows your mind that you’re making positive changes.

4) Happiness and success also seem inextricably linked to getting things done. Try doing things for yourself - eating a nice breakfast, taking a walk, drinking water and re-hidrating as well as reading and working on things you want to get done before reading any email. Try it for three weeks. Email means you are doing someone Else’s work and working someone Else’s agenda during one of the most productive times of the day.

5) Make a list of three things and three things only that you WILL accomplish each day and write them down in the morning. Just three things. make them the most important and then construct your day so that you do them.

6) Don’t just simplify your TO DO list, simplify your life. It is amazing how each little bit of simplification makes life better. Have you ever had so much stuff that when you needed something, you couldn’t find what you needed? Was the stuff worth having? If you want to learn more about the process of simplification read a little of this blog each day. http://www.zenhabits.com

7) Be compassionate - to yourself and others - once or twice each day when you might not otherwise have been so. It’s very addictive and your life is better.

Become a better communicator and become more persuasive. Watch the Six Words video for an idea of how to do that quickly and easily.

Good with the strategic stuff?
Try these on for practical life enhancing things:

9) Back up your hardware and your life. Most people don’t take the time to do this,
and regret it later. But, there are a few things to do that can save you hours of time and millions of dollars of lost ideas, work, and effort.

First, copy your entire hard drive onto an
external drive and do that today or tomorrow.

Consider using mozy http://www.mozy.com) to do an external and scheduled back up of your computer.
and for Mac owners - like me- start using Time Machine or SuperDuper.

But don’t stop there. Consider a backup your cellphone, PDA, and
any other personal-information-storing device.

Make sure to back up your family photos, and upload them to a service like www.snapfish and or www.shutterfly.com

10) While you’re at it, make photocopies of your wills and trusts, deeds,
car registration, credit cards, passport, drivers license, social security card, birth
certificate, and other important papers. And, if you keep a journal or
hipster PDA, photocopy that. Keep these in a
safe deposit box, off site, or at least in a fireproof box rated for at least two hours.

11) Want to start buying and eating healthier foods. Here’s
a free e-book from the government on how to eat healthy:
http://www.health.gov/dietaryguidelines/dga2005/document/pdf/DGA2005.pdf

12) Resolve to travel for pleasure - even if only to places you love or for short trips. But consider going someplace new. Want last minute low cast fares? Then sign up for US Airway’s E-Saver, Southwest’s Ding, or any other airline program that offers last-minute travel options so you can take quick weekend getaways whenever you feel like it. Fares can be as low as $50 round trip.

13) Check your credit report for identity theft, or any other
misinformation or errors that could harm your financial status and
options. You are entitled to one free check a year at
www.annualcreditreport.com.

14) Make an appointment to get a full physical checkup from your physician and a good dental examination with ex-rays from your dentist. Also schedule an eye exam with an ophthalmologist.

15) Decide to actually become a millionaire or exactly how much you want to be worth and why.
To analyze how much you’ll need to save and then how to invest try this tool recommended by author Neil Strauss, the author of Emergancy-This book can save your life. http://partners.leadfusion.com/tools/kiplinger/savings01/tool.fcs

OK. That’s plenty for now. Have other ideas, and resolutions that you want to share. Leave a comment below. I have a great book for the winner who has the best and most practical life advice, resolution, strategy or tactic. Share one now and then get going. Enjoy 2010 starting with right now.

Dave Frees

Dave Frees On Persuasion and Communications Skills for Business Success

Will you, your company, or any of your clubs, societies, or organizations have a meeting, conference or convention this year? Will you need entertainment or a speaker? Does your business need to start making changes in your communications, marketing and sales? Hire Dave Frees as an after dinner or keynote speaker or for a workshop at your conference, super conference or event. He is entertaining while teaching you to implement sales, marketing and persuasion skills that really work to transform a business. Call 610-933-8069 or 1-800-769-5454 and ask for Denise, or Donna.

Want his Persuasion 2 Profit Program? Call 610-933-8069 and ask for Denise or Donna.

Do what Comcast, JP Morgan, Astrazeneca, Smith Barney, Travellers Insurance, Harvard, Yale, and many other schools, businesses, corporations, trade and professional associations have done and book Dave Frees for your event.

P.S. It has been great having all three of my kids home for the holidays.

The Frees Kids all dressed up for the holidays

Want to know how to be more persuasive, to communicate more clearly, and why communications skills are so important to business success?

What one other skill or attribute makes these skills ten times more effective?

Dave Frees On Persuasion and Communications Skills for Business Success

Let me begin by saying I am sorry for a delay of a few days in posting to the blog. But I have been up to something that is directly relevant to your success…..

In fact, my work over the last few days on my own business and professional practice might help to save you hours of time and effort and get you to do one or two little things that will make all the difference in your business and all of your communications needs……

Interested yet?

Well, that is one of the techniques I have been using over the last few days. I need to create interest in a very boring topic. So creating suspense and curiosity in your business communications (written or verbal) is essential to getting real attention, being memorable, and in getting people to take action.

So what have I been up to?

Check back in a day or two for more….

See, it worked again!

But, I won’t keep you waiting. I am a trust and estate lawyer by training. And, Congress recently failed to act to prevent the estate tax law from lapsing. As a result, the law will lapse temporarily and many American’s wills, trusts, and related documents may not work properly in just a few days.

To make matters worse, Congress may reenact the law soon and even if it doesn’t, the tax automatically comes back in 12 months worse than ever.

See the dilemma?

Many people think that because the tax is gone, that they are home free. That they don’t have to do anything. But the reverse is really true. They may to change their wills and then change them again. And, they need to make some decisions soon. And it’s complicated not simple. Finally, it’s the holidays.
Who has time for stuff like this?

And this is why these skills are so important. We are not automatically important to the businesses, families, and people that we sell to. And, they forget us. It is not their job to remember who we are.

So, how do I get their attention and get them to act, remember us, to buy from us again and again and to refer to us?

I create curiosity, I make it interesting and fun, and I remind them of the pain they will feel if they do not act. People will do more to avoid pain than to experience pleasure. And, I use the trust that I have built by emailing my clients only when there is something important to say but often enough for them to remember who I am.

Read some of my headlines, blogs and copy if you’d like. You can find them at www.PaEstatePlanners.com and www.utbf.com/trust-estate.

But is essence, I get their attention by creating curiosity. I get them to look by a combination of curiosity, fun and trust.

How about this? Would you open an email or look at an article that asked: The Estate Tax Is Gone. What are you going to do about your will now?

or

“Want to Know The Dirty Little Secret That Congress Isn’t Telling You About The Estate Tax Disappearing?“

Finally, I use massive action and I act quickly. I posted over five articles about this within 48 hours of Congress’ mess up. And, I have posted numerous links so that my clients can read articles from the Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and Forbes on the topic.

I also commented on may other news sources’ blogs on these issues. Since this happened on a Friday, most lawyers are enjoying a Saturday off. Now I have family responsibilities too including two college tuitions and one more on the way. But action makes my communications stand out. They are timely. And, that gets notice.

The Frees Kids all dressed up for the holidays

There might be a spelling error. The article might not be perfect. We try to do the best we can. And, we fix errors the moment we see them. But I have already received comments about my blogs and articles so ACTION MATTERS.

Enjoy the weekend, the snow (if you’re on the east coast) and be well.

Please leave your comments and questions below to help us make these blogs more useful and interesting to our readers.

Dave Frees

Need an outstanding after dinner speaker and entertainer who teaches one of the most valuable skills while entertaining your corporate, or collge audience? Visit www.SuccessTechnologies.com or call Denise at 610-933-8069 to find out more about Persuasion 2 Profit and Dave Frees’ related programs.

What do fears and anxiety, wants and desires have to do with your ability to persuade others?

Everything.

In order to be persuasive and influential, you must understand that we are all, as human beings, motivated to avoid pain and anxiety and to achieve our specific and personal wants and desires.

If you want to be ethically persuasive, and to become more influential - not just for a short while, but powerfully and permanently, you must discover what worries and delights those who you seek to persuade.

And, the process of discovering what makes those around you afraid or delighted is, in itself, a process that builds trust and makes you naturally more persuasive and influential. How? Well, you cannot really discover what motivates others or what horrifies or worries them, without asking them questions (either directly, or through technology such as surveys). And, the very act of asking questions about another person and showing genuine interest in their answers makes you more persuasive.

You have shown an interest in the things that interest others. And that is so rare, that it almost always gets noticed.

But, and here is a distinction that can make you money, make you more powerful, and more trusted and therefore more persuasive, people will listen to you in a more profound way when you have shown them that you are interested in them and that you want to give them true value.

Finally, people are way more likely to act to avoid pain and anxiety than they are to achieve pleasure.

That’s right, and it seems hard wired within us and it is quite profound. Now that is not to say that you should not employ both tactics when being persuasive, when teaching, or when marketing. But, if you must emphasize one over the other, then count on the avoidance of pain to win out every time.

If all of this sounds manipulative, then you’re right. But remember, that all communication is manipulation.

Only your intent behind the communication distinguishes it. Think about it. When ever you communicate, you are trying to entertain, market, teach, or to convince someone to do something (or not to) for some reason. Those reasons may be good, and well intentioned. But always ask yourself: “Am I doing this for a positive reason and for the benefit of this person?” “Have I really uncovered what this person wants so that I can be more ethically persuasive?”

But assuming that you are acting appropriately, remember that all influence and persuasion must be based on knowing the fears and concerns of those you’re trying to influence. The very act of asking builds trust. And, people will act more often and with more energy and power to avoid pain than to achieve pleasure.

So become more persuasive in a way that people will trust you for the long run. And when you do, life will get better in many ways, and for many reasons.

Enjoy!
Dave Frees

Interested In Dave Frees’ Persuasion2Profit Program? Call Dennise at 610-933-8069 or email dfrees@successtechnologies.com

Dave Frees on Marketing and Persuasion as Coaching

You know the old adage, everyone likes to buy things, and no one wants to be told what to buy. Isn’t it true, that when someone tells you what to do the thing has already lost some allure? Think about it. How do you feel when someone elses “request” of you sounds too much like a command? Are you enthusiastic?

But too much marketing is just that. It operates like a command. A great deal of marketing and of what passes for persuasion, sounds like this: “I’m smart. I know what you need. Here it is. Buy this and your problems are history.” Now everyone wants the problems to be cured. And for some people, the pain of the problem will motivate them to overcome the traditional marketing message and to actually buy.

But, if you take an honest look at your marketing and if it has repeated references to you, your credentials, and thinly veiled commands to buy, then you’re counting on only the most motivated buyers to overcome the distaste we all have for someone else telling us what to do. You marketing is persuading only a small number of prospects to act.

So how do we reach and genuinely persuade the bigger audience?

Think of your marketing as coaching. When I first heard this analogy from Eben Pagan at an event in LA, it struck me as an elegant way to think and to change what we are doing. So that’s what we should do. Now how do we do it?

First, you want to find out what your prospects really need and value. You want to deliver that and the highest possible value to them but you want them to discover, on their own, that you have their best interests in mind and the best solutions, products and services to achieve what you know they want. Remember, when I say you know, I mean that you have learned from them. Not that you have decided for them.

That takes marketing that inspires curiosity, that educates, and that gives the prospect everything that they need to evaluate your product (service or solution) and to come to that conclusion on their own.

Does that sound like a multi-step process? It probably is. So the first step should lead to a series of steps that let’s different people decide to buy, on their own, according to their own process. You can do this in any medium of marketing. You can use blogs, web articles, books, magazine adds, direct marketing such as post cards and letters. Well, you get the picture.

It may be a bit harder, but your competition probably won’t do it and when you do…

By the way, what if I’m wrong and they do start before you? Better think about this. Note to self: “Implement marketing that looks, sounds, feels and is more like coaching the customer than “selling them.”

When you implement that idea, your next note to self might be: “Go to the bank more often for deposits.”

Want a resource that describes the coaching model really well? One that you can then use to develop radically more effective and more persuasive marketing?

Enjoy.
Dave Frees
Ideas and Information to Improve The Quality of Your Business and Your Life (TM)

Dave Frees On What Matters Now

And, I am one of those people that is always on the lookout for a new perspective , or a new tool. When I see something I ask myself: “How could I apply this in my business or my life to solve a problem, improve quality, bring value, or increase profitability?”

So I really liked Seth’s approach on this one.

Seth has just completed a new project along with sixty other smart thinkers who have all contributed a brief piece to get us thinking in new, productive and useful ways. Think of it as a daily mind hack, or peruse it and pick one or two to think about. And, they are making it totally free.

It is brief, it’s easy to read, it’s free, and you can download it here from www.scribd.com. Enjoy his blog and the book and leave your comments below.

Also, Seth is encouraging everyone to pass it on so you have his permission to retweet it, post it, email it or spread it around.

Dave Frees
610-933-8069

P.S. if you buy something from the list of Seth’s books below, there is a high probability that some of the proceeds will go to our current project to build a well to give fresh clean drinking water to those who do not have it. If you don’t want to buy anything, but still want to participate, just click on this link to our charitywater project and make a small donation. $20.00 buys clean drinking water for one person for twenty years. That’s a good buy.

Thanks again,
Dave Frees

Dave Frees on Mental Profit Killer and The Mind Hacks That Beat Them

When we say that to ourselves, we are giving ourselves an often unnoticed suggestion to ignore everything that comes after the little voice. And so, no matter how important the message, and no matter how many important variations on what we already may know, we miss out on them. We ignore the benefits that might be contained in the lecture, article, book, conversation or communication.

Now I’m not saying to watch TV shows that you have seen before just because you didn’t realize it until you were a few minutes into the show. But, have you ever read a book later in life, or under different circumstances than the first time, where you saw something new or notice a new lesson that had eluded you before?

So, when you catch yourself saying “I already know that!” just stop yourself. Ask yourself to notice whether or not there really is new and useful information. Give it a chance. Discover what may be different about this or more nuanced. And, if it seems like you do already know it, ask yourself whether or not you are really doing it.

How many times have we heard someone say “Existing customers are the best source of new business because they already trust you and you don’t have to spend marketing dollars overcoming resistance?” Probably pretty often. And, if you heard me saying that you might say to yourself, “I already know that.”

But what are you really doing about it? Are you consistently saying thanks to clients, giving them an unexpected bonus, offering them tools to refer new clients, friends and associates to you?

Do you send them thank you notes, emails, and newsletters to remind them to do business with you? Do you survey them and question them to find out what they really want and need from you rather than just offering what you “know” they need?

Oh, you don’t need to? When was the last time that you did business with someone but couldn’t remember their name even a few months later? It is not your customers’ job to remember you. It’s your job to remind them and to give them such great value that they do remember you and refer to you and hire you, or buy from you, again and again.

So remember to silence that little voice that says I already know that.” and replace it instead with the question, “what is really new here that I can use?” and “Am I really doing this consistently and effectively?”

If we do that we might learn something new and do more even better than before. And that might result in more satisfied customers, friends and family. And if we’re lucky, it might result in higher profits and margins - even in a down economy.

Do you want more killer persuasion techniques, mind hacks and communications skills and strategies to
grow your business and to improve your life? Get Dave Frees’ new Persuasion2Profit program Call 610-933-8069 and ask for Donna or Denise.

Want to hire Dave Frees to work with your organization, team, company, charity or university. Do what thousands have already done and call 610-933-8069 to hire Dave Frees

Want to give a great gift to someone you love? Dave Frees’ book The Language Of Parenting: Building Great Family Relationships At All Ages has received rave reviews from parents, educators, and family relationships experts. Order it now.

The Frees Kids all dressed up for the holidays

Happy Thanksgiving. Enjoy the weekend.
Dave Frees
Need an entertaining after dinner or keynote speaker that people will rave about?
Book Dave Frees for you event.
Call Donna or Denise at 610-933-8069

Perry and Dave Frees on persuasion and making your copy more persuasive and
effective.