Monday , 17 June 2024

How An "Irritating Habit" of Mine Helps People To Get Great Results

If you have ever wanted to be an agent for change? To help others, or even yourself to actually breakthrough and to achieve some needed change? Want a magical lingusitic formula or technique that greases the skids of change and unleashes desire and transforms reality. Then this is for you – and I am not over promising.

So, if you’d like to have what many have called my “irritating habit” that may be essential to change while making you wildly popular then read on.

Many people have the experience of wanting a particular goal, change, or thing, but never quite reaching it. Now there can be many reasons for this but one common reason is that they have failed to get any real leverage for real change, achievement, and transformation. As humans, we like things the way they are, we fear change, and in order to make a change, big or small, there has to be a good and powerful motivator.

So how does my “bad habit” trigger this motivator in my self and in others?

Well, I am a constant questioner. I have, since the old days of preschool (with my parents), Sunday school (with the clergy), school (with my teachers) and through out college (with my professors) been one of those people who just keeps asking “Why?”.

Now I freely admit that such a question can be irritating. But when applied in the right context it can unleash the power you need to bring the changes that you want into your life or into the lives of those around you. Ok… how?

People frequently tell me that they desperately want a particular thing, or goal but remain frustrated in achieving it. My questions to them? “What would getting [that thing] do for you?” “How would you feel? What would your world look like? Who would be there?”

Now here’s the trick. You have to be persistent and irritating about this. It has to keep going.

Want an example?

Think of something right now that you really want and desire but have not yet achieved.

What would having that do for you?

Ok. You have some answer in mind. What would having that (the new thing) do for you?

How would your life be different or better? Who would be in your life? How would your day go? Where would you be living?

OK. One more time. As to the new thing.

What would having that now do for you? And so on and so on…

Keep going.

Eventually, you will get to the deeper things that you truly desire and along the way you may discover the reason that you have not yet acted or achieved your desire. It may (and often does) involve giving up something and it can even be something (or someone) dear to you.

For example, I asked who is there with you when you have this new thing? If the people there are different than the people in your life now that may tell you something. So, you have a decision to make. If, in the vision of that new thing, you live in a new place (no matter how wonderful) you must be prepared to move from the old to the new in order to achieve what you claim to desire. At the very least, you have to be convinced that the possible need to move is, on balance worth the new and desired goal.

This exercise raises to our conscious awareness what we truly desire, what has to change, and what benefits we will achieve. Then, we can align our strategies, decisions, actions, and often the results we really want often come much faster if not almost instantaneously.

So, remember to develop the irritating habit, with yourself and others, of asking repeatedly, “And what will that get you?” They’ll thank you for it later.

Dave Frees

If you have a comment or question, leave it below in the comments section or message me at the e-mail above.

Photo Credit: tanakawho