How’s life working out for you? Right Now?
If you had to rate your business and your personal
life on a scale of 1-10 how would they rate?
Does each day look and feel like you want it to?
Are you fulfilled, alive and accomplishing something
vital? Do you feel rested, calm and on point?
Do you “magically” and effortlessly get what you
feel that you really want?
If the answers to these questions – even the
silent and internal thought responses as you
read them made you feel frustrated, anxious, or
unsatisfied, then keep reading….
It’s going to get better. Way better…real soon.
You see, there are a few ideas, strategies, and
methods for getting more done with less energy
and feeling better than you ever thought possible.
And, there is a way that people get the things that they
desire while others seem to always be running into
secret and invisible barriers to achieving their own goals.
And, while these powerful secrets aren’t secret at all
they might as well be.
The people who learn them and
how to “DO THEM” make more money, give more to
others, feel more fulfilled, and are just plain happier
than those who don’t.
The people who learn them, and who DO THEM don’t
want to keep them secret. In fact, they become so
enthusiastic, that the often become like evangelists.
They tell everyone. But no one believes them.
And often, the evangelists are bad teachers. They
know how they make more money, became more
influential, and found happiness. They just can’t
explain to others how to do it. And, it seems too simple,
so everyone ignores them.
So in this installment, we examine the meta strategy,
of - Knowing what you will and will not do,
the strategies to make life better once you know them,
and specific ideas about how to DO THEM which is often the
missing link when it comes to self improvement.
I want to transform my life into something better. You
want to transform your life too.
People are forever telling me the obvious things to do
but not how to do them. Do they do that to you?
Examples? Be more upbeat. Get more rest.
Eat better. Stop smoking. Stay calm and don’t get
Easy to say. Harder (or so it seems) to do.
Often hard to do – until you learn
the secret that works for you.
So the first meta strategy to having and getting what
you want is this – You need to know what
you really want. That’s old advice. It’s harder to know than
And the tactic that follows from that is:
Have a prioritized to do list.
There is really no way around it. For most of us, we
have to write down what we want. The big picture and
the things we need to do each day to get there.
The things have to be described with specificity, vividly,
and in emotional terms that activate our desire and creativity.
And if you’re saying “I’ve done this a hundred times and still
don’t have that care, life, house, vacation, job….or whatever”
you’re not alone. So what’s the deal?
It turns out, that we need to also know what we will and
will not do to get these things/feelings/people in our
WE NEED TO HAVE CLARITY ABOUT WHAT WE WILL
NOT DO and a DO NOT DO LIST.
The do not do list is vital because what we do not do determines
in large part what we have the time, drive, desire and
resources TO DO.
Until we do, invisible barriers are erected that
often prevent us from achieving goals that we outwardly
say we desire with passion.
And, once we know what we will and will not do then it turns
out that we must relentlessly implement these actions-
the things that we will do. And we can avoid the things that we
So enough about the meta strategy.
What’s the strategy and how do we actually do this?
So first you’ve identified what you really want.
You have written what you want in multiple areas of your life
and you’ve done it with specificity, and in a way that really
activates your desire.
While you’re in that state of excitement now ask yourself-
What am I willing, able, and excited about doing to
make this a reality?
Go ahead. Make the list. List them all.
List every damn thing that you’re willing to do to have
the things that you say you want in your life.
Now here’s the tricky part.
Next ask yourself – “What am I not willing to do
to get the desired result?
Now there is a third step.
Is there anything on the will not do list that is a deal
killer? Is there something on that list that is essential
to get you to the goal?
If so, you have to modify the goal or find a way to
get it done without that step. Otherwise you’re doomed.
It will never happen.
You see, this is the mistake that many successful
people make when they try to explain their happiness,
financial success and personal lifestyle success to otehrs/
They think that it’s the goal setting.
They think it’s that they wrote the goals down, or that
they were passionate about it.
But what they were really doing was activating a basic human
driver of behavior. The desire to acquire and/or to achieve.
This is built into our DNA at a very deep level.
But, you can desire all that you want and never achieve
the desired thing or result if you’re unwilling to do
something essential to your plan.
If one basic behavioral driver -the drive to acquire is in
conflict with another survival instinct, or behavioral driver
then nothing happens.
Let’s see a particular example.
You deeply desire a shore/lake/mountain or other vacation
home. You have pictured it and described it in detail.
You know all of the features it will have and the benefits to
you and your loved ones.
Your passionate about it. You have activated the basic
human driver of action the desire to acquire things.
You have come up with a shrewd plan to get this house.
Yet, for several years now you have not. What’s wrong?
Well, if you’re plan of action required you to market
your new and higher margin product or service with
direct cold calling or public speaking and these activities
were on your list of things that you’re simply not willing
to do – even for the vacation home, then it will not happen.
If this seems obvious, it’s not. Try the experiment. Many
of us create plans to get something and that require us to
take actions that we will simple not do.
We then claimed to be surprised and frustrated that
we’ve “tried everything” but have not succeeded.
Likewise, if you’re not willing to take the time from work
that you need to to fly to the area where you want to buy,
and to look at houses, hire a Realtor, create ads to attract sellers
of the exact type of home you want then it’s not going to happen.
If it does, you’re lucky which does count for a lot.
But for most people, their luck changes only when you confront
the demon of what you’re willing and not willing to do to get the
desired vacation home. Only then can
you really construct a plan of action and begin to implement
actions that will “magically” get you want you want.
You’ll have eliminated the otherwise invisible obstacles
that have so often prevented the transformation of your life
and things, good or even great things, will start to happen.
The next and final step that seems to crate the alchemical
magic of getting what you want is relentless implementation.
I’m not the only person to observe this.
People who, once they have a plan consistent with the list
of things that they will and will not do, begin to relentlessly
do the things on that list seem to be very lucky.
My friend Perry Marshall recently wrote:
“I find a startlingly consistent correlation between LISTENING TO
A VERY SMALL GROUP OF MENTORS, PREFERABLY JUST ONE,
MASSIVE, ALMOST RECKLESS IMPLEMENTATION
(of just a few important things)
and EVENTUAL SUCCESS.
Not 100% mind you, but enough that I can usually identify
why someone hasn’t succeeded. It’s seldom all that hard.”
Both Perry and I have actually transformed our lives
-several times. And, we’ll do so again.
More on relentless implementation soon
Stay tuned. It’s part of the magic and the alchemy of transforming
your business and life – according to YOUR PLAN not someone
To find out more about my coaching programs for lawyers and for
entrepreneurs call me at 610-933-8069. They are either
expensive or very expensive to ignore. It’s in the mind of the
Interested in short but highly effective programs to
transform your business and your life?